泊珍看他第一眼,彷似一声雷劈头而来,令她晕头涨脑,这一岁的孩子脸型长相如此熟悉,她心里的第一道声音是,不能带回去!
痛苦纠聚心中,眉心发烫发热,胸口郁闷难展,胃里一股气冲喉而上。院长说这孩子发育迟缓时,她更是心头无绪,她在育生所待的房里来回踱步,这房里还有其他小孩,每人一张围着栅栏的床,整个房间只有一扇窗,窗外树影婆娑,就让这孩子留下来吧,这里有善心的神父和修女,这里将来会扩充为有医疗作用的看护中心,这是留住孩子最好的地方。这孩子是她的秘密,她将秘密留在这树林掩映的建筑里。
她将秘密留在心头。
她专心做生意,她觉得人生剩下的只有不断地赚钱养育孩子,和对往日某些美好时光的眷恋,即使这些时光如此短暂,但也因为短暂而弥足珍贵,她家乡的好山好水、她和桂花的姐妹情谊、留在心中的曾有过的感情,这些美好的部分就够安慰她的余生。她心里也惦念留在家乡的那些人,她的两个孩子、她的父亲,他们都不再有音讯,他们随着时光的流逝,成为心里一个遥远的山水风景,成为眼里模糊的泪水。
【参考译文】
Tortured by the pains gathering in her heart, she felt something was burning between her eyebrows. Her chest was brimmed with depression which was likely to run out of her throat at any moment. She could not think clearly any longer when the headmaster told her that the child suffered from developmental retardation. She strode up and down in the room where her child stayed with other pals. There was only one window in the room, out of which some shady trees were whispering. “Just leave it here”, she told herself, “This is the best choice by far, for there are kind priests and nuns in this place which may also be renovated into a Medicare center”. The child was her secret which would be kept in the buildings behind the woods.